I Am The Other Mom

Saturday, June 03, 2006

and the journaling begins

The journal begins... I needed a place to share my thoughts on being the Other Mom, living in a California suburb, raising two lovely daughters, and planning for our future. Along the way I want to share my thoughts about where we are in this life, where we came from and where we are going. Not unlike any other couple out there.

But there's a twist. Our coupling isn't always accepted, although we have faced absolutely no opposition, thus far. Soon, in another year, the older daughter will start middle school. Maybe that other shoe will drop, maybe not. I don't know. But, I want our family to be prepared when it does. It will, some day.

My partner, Kandy, participates as much as possible in their school, while I go to work each day earning a paycheck to support our family. I've got the "dad" role, as Megan puts it. Kandy volunteers in each of their classes, she is an officer in the PTA, and she is a co-Girl Scout leader of their GS troop. She is a Mom, through and through.

I find my role as the Other Mom very challenging. It has more to do with our parenting styles than the fact that I'm not able to give all my time to the girls by comparison. You know what they say, "opposites attract?" That's Kan and me. I crave discipline and organization, and that's just not who Kan is. I worry that the girls are not learning some self-discipline, while at the same time I worry that I worry too much!

It's a dilemma.

5 comment(s):

Glad to see yet another lesbian parent in the blogging world. Welcome. :)

Your post brought a rather random question to mind: the Girl Scouts don't have any prohibition on homosexual leaders like the Boy Scouts do? Like I said, random.

I look forward to reading more of you and your family.


By Blogger WordsRock, at 6/05/2006 7:56 AM  

Suzanne - thanks! And, to answer your question, much to their credit the GS do not have any prohibition on homosexual leaders. We're not closeted at all (who can be closeted with kids to bring up?). There's been no question of any kind of sexism at all. Quite welcoming, in fact.

When I was a GS, I recall leaders at the 2 wk. GS camp I attended who may have been lesbian (if "looks" mean anything, and often they don't!), and they were the best leaders of all. At least I thought so!

By Blogger I Am The Other Mom, at 6/05/2006 11:37 AM  

Yes welcome! And WR -- I was a girlscout leader when my oldest was in 1st and 2nd grade. There was no outright prohibition, but I was always concerned that some parent or another would "find out" and "freak." Never happened.

I, too, look foward to reading your posts. I am now married to another "other mom."

By Blogger TDharma, at 6/11/2006 9:13 AM  

we have not really encounted too many problems along the way. our kids are ...well... grown now - 25 and 18.
there were some bumps. but in the grand scheme of things ... no biggie.

By Blogger weese, at 6/20/2006 1:25 PM  

I have been a mom and the other mom. My son, now 37 was born before our relationship started. We have had 2 children since, now 26 and almost 20. AND we have had our first grandchild and are waiting with baited breath for the second one, now 3 days late. We live in California, but never went thru the formal adoption process, which has had it's pluses and minuses. During the elementary school years it was always a pain in the rear (we live in a rural red neck community). But for the FAFSA for college, it has worked out well.

By Blogger mamashama, at 1/10/2007 11:26 PM  

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