I Am The Other Mom

Monday, June 05, 2006

Some History

Kandy and I were married June 18, 1994 in the chapel of St. Francis Lutheran Church in San Francisco. We were married by Phyllis Zillhart and her partner Ruth Frost. Well, we had the blessings of St. Francis, if not all of the Lutheran Church nor the state of California. For ourselves, though, it was the perfect wedding ceremony. Instead of organ music, a friend played the harp - Enya's music serving as a lovely centerpiece for that ethereal music. Many friends, and a few family came to celebrate with us. We do have pictures from the wedding at St. Francis, and I'll scan one or two in and post here later.

It wasn't until much later that our families would become more involved in our lives.

Although we went through the ceremony of the wedding in June of that year, it was really on September 10th of the year before that we wrote and said our own vows to one another and made the true commitment of our lives. Now is that romantic, or what?

Then, in December, Barbra Streisand was to come through town on her first-so-called "last tour ever." (Can you tell that I am not the fan?) Kandy has always been in love with Babs, so we got four tickets to her concert in San Jose - hoping to entice her mom and dad out here for a visit. Unfortunately, her mom has yet to get on an airplane, and her dad's health was a precarious at best for a car-trip from Ohio. Ultimately, we ended up with two extra tickets. An acquaintance, a pediatric physician at UCSF bought them from us. One evening we met her in Berkeley. For some reason, this exchange stands out in our memory.
As we were parting I remember her asking us,

"Have you two ever thought about having children?"

Immediately we both answered, "Oh no! No way! Ha-ha-ha! You have got to be kidding!"

And that was that - or so I thought After getting married in San Francisco, we honeymooned first
in Guerneville, and then we drove down to Santa Barbara. But it was in Guerneville that Kandy first introduced the idea of having kids.

Took me by surprise, let me tell you!
In the beginning I wasn't so keen on the idea. I mean, I was 39 years old, Kandy was 37. I wasn't real into the thought of raising kids anymore - not like I might have been at 30 years old. So we tabled that for a while - or, at least I did. Until we were down in Santa Barbara, and we talked more about it. And more, and well, I was weak and started to think that we could really do this. Encouragingly, Ruth and Phyllis had already had their little girl, and when we were exploring the idea we formed a Maybe Moms group with two other couples for a total of four couples, including Ruth and Phyllis. By October we all had decided to take the plunge.

A future post: The Baby Process (or Fertile Myrtle)

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